BOOK 1 – STOP THE WAR
With the world on the brink of yet another war, which could quickly escalate into a nuclear holocaust, Riff n Raff’s teacher, Mr. Mumu, decides that a class trip to the zoo is in order
After an argument about the nature of war with the super selfish Mimi Money, Riff n Raff slip away and attempt to liberate 99 monkeys from the animal prison.
Unbeknownst to our heroes, their war of words with Mimi was overheard by a species of altruistic aliens who have walked among us for aeons.
The aliens contact Riff n Raff and request a parlez in order to formulate a peace treaty. The aliens have half a plan, but it’s up to Riff n Raff to come up with the other half.
The kids conscript Riff’s father, BeanO the Boozy Clown. Together, the troika come up with an ingenious, but by no means foolproof plan to turn the children of the world against the warmongers.
Mimi tells her father, the greedy Mr. Money, that Riff n Raff are out to stop the war. Mr. Money, an evil scientist who owns Wicked Weapons of War, hopes to become the richest and most powerful man in the world by selling his wicked weapons of war to both sides in the looming conflagration.
Mr. Money is not amused. He hatches his own plot to foil the peace plan, so the war can go on forever.
But our heroes are out to teach the apathetic adults a lesson they will never forget.
BOOK 2 – POOR NO MORE
Banksters have crashed the global economy and times are bad all over.
Mr. Money, too, has fallen on hard times since Riff n Raff put him out of business. His income is meager compared to the mega moolah he was making selling wicked weapons of war, and the female members of the Money household are none too pleased. The material girls want money, more of it, lots and lots of it, and they don’t care how he gets it.
Sid and his waddle of penguins from another planet have discovered that the temperature of our planet is rising. The problem, they conclude, is human addiction to fossil fuels. Sid contacts Mr. Money, who has become head of the Planetary science Council, and explains that if we don’t our filthy habit, it’s the end of the world as we know it.
Mr. Money agrees that Sid’s science is solid, and assures the alien that he will put a stop to the madness. But Mr. Money does the math, concludes that the world will not be destroyed before his time is up, and sees it all as easy money for him. Mr. Money calls his old friend, Guy Greasy, the President of BIG OIL, and they do a dirty deal.
Understanding that Riff n Raff are the only people on the planet who will stand in his way, Mr. Money tells his money grubbing daughter that she is gonna have to contribute something of value to his scheme, or get ready to take up residence in the poor house, and get used to a very different lifestyle. Mimi grabs a million bucks from daddy’s stash and rocks Riff’s world.
Will Mr. Money’s plan to divide and conquer Riff n raff work?
Will the banksters inbreed with cockroaches to become the last men standing on a burnt planet?
And how does a pot-puffing, cross-dressing Viking fit into this tantalizing tale?
There’s only one way to know for sure.
BOOK 3 – IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT
A lonely, lovelorn lad inflicts his agony on the patron’s of Andrew WK’s karaoke bar, setting off a chain reaction that spreads misery across the planet.
Misery morph’s into violence. Every corner of the world looks like a Tarantino film.
Riff n Raff are not immune to the madness. When the harmony turns to hysteria, they break up their band, and head off with BeanO to see the wisest people on the planet, the Urdas.
The wisest of the wise, a childhood friend of BeanO’s, an Urda named Gair, tells our heroes that things are much worse than they imagine. All the acrimony has attracted the attention of the Vogon Reptiloids, who have dispatched one of their death stars to destroy Earth.
The Vogon Reptiloid death star is pulverizing everything in its path, and the closer it gets to earth, the uglier things get here on our planet. Wise as they are, the Urdas do not have a solution. Once again, it’s up to Riff n raff to save the world.
Following the instructions of the Evil Clown Gods who rule the Universe, the head shrink of Thunder City’s nuthouse, a mischief maker named Wild Oscar, releases Jesus, who is looking for revenge.
Riff n raff know that love, not Jesus, is the answer. But how do they get people to love one another on a planet filled with hate?
The sub-plot to this nail biter proves that WSRshingtion Redskins owner, Dan Snyder, is a macho macho man, who will probably sue me for outing him.
You don’t wanna miss this one, kids!
the riff n raff rebellions vol 1 